jet. lag.

Wow. So this is what it's like to have gone to bed at 730pm and to be WIDE AWAKE at 4am. I guess I'm still on Europe time. I was hoping it was maybe just the turkey.

Got back safely after the world's longest day of traveling. Left Lake Como at 730, flew out of Milan at 1030. Landed in Paris at 1140. Got searched and searched and patted down and searched again checking in for our flight on Air India (lamb curry makes for very good plane food, by the way). En route to board, had a request in French to take off our shoes. After mild confusion and a quick translation, shoes off.

(note to self: it's not really ok to wear argyle socks that don't match your outfit and think nobody will notice because you're wearing high boots)

Shoes on, down to the plane. Before the door, got searched again, this time even more thorough than the last two. Bags searched, patted down again. Wow. I felt safe.

I'm terrible, though, in those situations. I am always half an inch away from cracking a joke, either hugely inappropriate or just plain dumb. It's that odd nervous feeling that keeps me on the verge of a giggle fit. This is where choosing a focal point and taking some breaths can come in handy. The nice security guards are smart enough to figure out how to unzip my bag. They don't need my help.

I have to tell myself this over and over again so as not to rouse suspicion. There's always some lurking guilty feeling in the back of my mind. 'Are they going to find my nail clippers? Maybe I didn't pack them in my checked bags like I told the other lady at the check-in gate. Maybe there are dangerous nail clippers sitting there in my little toiletry bag. The one with the flowers, that's right. And maybe, just maybe I put them there intentionally as part of some greater diabolical plan to give manicures on the sly to sleeping passengers! Maybe deep down under this trying-not-to-giggle exterior lurks the mind of a criminal. Bwah-ha-hah!'

It's 430am. Maybe I should try to go back to sleep. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!