Snowed In Ski Trip

After a lovely week in Binghamton for Christmas, Will and I took off for Saratoga Springs. We planned on leaving today, but when we woke up to more snow than we'd seen in a while, we decided we'd stay another night*.

And then we decided to go skiing. Will got me a neat little HD Video Camera, the Flip Mino, for xmas, and we brought it along:


Ski Trip from Robin Reed on Vimeo.

Now I should mention that Will grew up skiing all winter while the most wintry sport I participated in was hopping in a Sno-Tube and hitting the hill at the Beacon St. Reservoir. So we've got a handful of different ways we approach the slopes.

Hope you all have a very Happy New Year. We've got dinner reservations at 9 and unless we sneak in a nap soon, we might not see midnight...

*at the lovely Saratoga Arms which we highly recommend should you find yourself in the area

Lines Must Be Drawn

Madness.

Sheer Madness.

I'll admit don't love going to a gym (although I have, over time, come to love my gym). I probably wouldn't go if I didn't have to. But. THIS IS RIDICULOUS (just look at the video!).

Eat less. Move more. It's really just that simple. When you're working, work. When you're eating, eat. When you're working out, work out. And then be done with it.

Don't buy the stupid treaddesk.

via Popgadget

The Magic that is Sharpie

Pretty impressive: man decorates basement with $10 worth of Sharpie.

Note to parents: let kids draw on walls!

via decor8

My First Resolution of 2009

Today's Manhattan User's Guide email featured lists, which I love. All kinds of lists, including Worst Album Covers of 2008, the Ten Worst Employees of 2008 and India's 2008 Best Dressed.

But it was Time Magazine's Top Ten Underreported News Stories of 2008 that really struck a chord with me. How is it that I knew about less than 50% of these stories? Ok, so I don't regularly read up on Sri Lankan Military Strategies, but... this one is particularly terrifying:

In September the FDA released draft guidelines on how to regulate genetically engineered animals for food-production purposes. But critics say the new guidance is weighted too heavily in favor of food companies' bottom lines, without giving adequate consideration to the effect herds of so-called Frankenstein animals — such as fast-growing salmon, pigs chock full of healthy omega-3 fatty acids and goats with protein-laden milk — could have on unmodified species or the ecosystems they inhabit. Another big area of concern is that the guidelines don't call for labeling meat and milk products derived from genetically modified animals. In October, a Consumer Reports survey of more than 1,000 people nationwide found that some 95% of respondents agreed food products made from genetically engineered animals should be labeled as such.

So. In 2009, I will try to be at least as knowledgeable about World News as I am about my friends' Facebook Status Updates.

If You'd Like to Throw a Party for Me...

... please book the Human Slinky as the entertainment. (click on the photo for a link to video)

I hope you've enjoyed this, my 400th post (!!)

If You're Not Going to Think About Math All the Time...

... it's good to have friends who do. Here's a little something for all you Netflix subscribers to think about, courtesy of Will's buddy Patrick:

Something funny I noticed the other day about Netflix’s pricing when I was considering us upgrading to the 4 disk a month plan: After you reach the 3 disks at a time plan, the incremental cost per disk stays the same. I would think it would continue to go down... the price per disk actually goes up at disk 4 and then stays the same. To me the best deal would continue to be the 3 disk deal.

See the breakdown here.

The Nerdiest Nerd I Know*

I spent the bulk of Saturday preparing a dish to bring to a Saturday night potluck dinner. Will went to Laser Cutting Class and made a dodecahedron puzzle. What to know what that's all about? Let him explain it to you.

*I mean that as a high compliment, if that wasn't exactly clear...

"Well, are you gonna swallow it or what?"

I get on the 4 train at Union Square headed downtown just after 10 this morning. I snag a seat in between two guys: one reading the paper, the other listening to his iPod. I, too, am listening to my iPod, drowning out the noise of the man handing out sandwiches to anyone hungry and soliciting spare loot to help the homeless. I see there's a space on the bench across from me, yet people are still standing-- nobody is sitting down in what clearly is enough space for a seat. Then I notice the woman next to the space is furiously working on something, twisting and tying something in her hands, while the man next to her is squeezing what looks like a balloon/stress ball, testing its durability.

It takes me a moment, and then I switch my music off but leave my headphones in to see if they're talking about what I think they're talking about.

The woman is tying pills up in a condom, tying a knot then twisting the latex over itself, tying another knot, twisting, repeating, repeating, repeating. The man's hands are puffy, swollen like a homeless person who consumes nothing more than alcohol and swells from the sugar. The already-packeged prophilactic he holds looks as if it's filled with marijuana; the woman shows him her work with the small pack of pills. He gives his critique, she opens another condom wrapper with her teeth, throws the wrap on the floor, gets pissed off that whatever lubrication comes included is now gooing up her hands and gets back to work, more knotting, more twisting.

The one thing I definitely heard her say was the word "contraband". She also said

No, they search you. They search your privates. The dogs come sniffing.

and then, and some point

I'm not giving up my chance to become an elections officer.

When the train was nearing what I assumed would be their exit, he stood up to put on his coat, knocking my seatmate's newspaper twice in the process. She scolded him, "look out for the guy, ah, gahd! you did it again!" He returned to her, she handed him the pill package. He stared at it for a moment, either contemplating her craftsmanship or his next step. Impatiently, she said

Well, are you gonna swallow it or what?

He asked her for something. She looked troubled and said

All I've got is coconut cream. It's perfumed.

He was not troubled by this. He said it would be fine.

They got off the 4 at Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall, which is the stop you'd take if you were going to any of the municipal buildings downtown including the court houses. I assume they were headed somewhere around there? I made eye contact with another girl seated a couple of people down from me; her look seemed to say "whatthefuck / doyouhaveanyideawhat'sgoingon / aretheyreallydoingthisinbroaddaylightonacrowdedsubwaycar?" I looked back with a similar glance, "dunno / mustbedrugs / yepcraziestthingever".

When they finally made their exit, the girl asked me and the fellow to my left what just happened. We both replied

Drugs.

The man to my left breathed a sigh of relief. He said that he'd been on the train with them for about a half hour and they'd been working on this project the whole way. I told him that it was definitely the craziest thing I'd ever seen, crazier even than the junkie kid who sprayed nearly an entire can of Axe Body Spray around a sleeping homeless man who had done some business in his already soiled pants.

But at least it offers some explanation on how condom wrappers end up on the train. I couldn't imagine people having sex on a subway car, nevermind having SAFE sex! It also made me sick to my stomach and sad as hell. Poor bastards.

Dinner Social

My years working in the throes of the New York restaurant world have left me somewhat of a food nerd. (I loathe the term "foodie" and use it as a curse word.)

I was reading an interview on Gothamist with Le Bernadin chef Eric Ripert and came across his idea of the Dinner Social:

I believe that the act of preparing, eating and sharing food should be at the center of our lives... One of my favorite things about cooking is sharing this experience with good friends and family... For the next several months, as the weather gets colder and we need company more than ever, we are going to host a series of collective dinner parties that celebrate the season. I invite you to join us in Dinner Social.

I love a good dinner party and thought this might be a fun activity to tackle. It all began yesterday with my trip to the Union Square Farmer's Market, where I was able to find nearly everything on the menu (good, seeing as the point of the Market Menu is to use the Farmer's Market!).


The coolest thing I found was the stalk of brussels sprouts. They're a pain in the neck to clean, but as a whole it is a thing to behold! And I know you can see a produce section sticker on the pomegranate in the front there. I didn't actually spend that much time at the market because by the time I'd purchased 3 lbs of potatoes, 4 lbs of lamb leg and various other root vegetables, my bag got too heavy for me to lug back on the train. I did what I could and let the Red Hook Fairway help me with the rest.

Dinner is on Saturday night. Since there's a contest, I'm sure we'll take some more photos. I'll post them here once I digest the two canapés, soup, lamb and poached pears. Yum!

Only 43 Before Him...

Patrick Moberg via Will

They Really Like Us!

Last night was wonderfully overwhelming, New York City (along with the rest of the world!) was filled with a palpable JOY.

Will and I woke this morning to this email from his cousin Jacopo, titled "Obama elected 44th President of the USA". Jacopo grew up in Florence, Italy and currently lives in Croatia for work.

I really supported Obama. You have no idea how Europeans like him.

Europe has still much to learn from the United States of America. I really think America is still a reference for the rest of the World. You should be proud of being American. I am very proud of being Italian because my Country has a great history and past time. America has a great present and promising future.

It is a terribly exciting time to be an American. We the people made a choice yesterday and I have never before been more proud of my country and my fellow Americans*.


*Seriously. When have I ever used the term "My Fellow Americans"? I'm really excited.

Voting, Brooklyn-Style

I arrived at my polling station this morning at 10am to find this, which seemed like a good sign.

Then inside, I found this:


Also excellent.

But, sadly, those booths weren't for me. Those were the booths of two out of the other three districts voting in the same elementary school gymnasium as mine.

This was my line:

I don't think the photo captures it, but there were no less than 80 people in front of me. I had to get to an audition in Grand Central by noon, so after waiting for 45 minutes to advance a mere few feet, I bailed knowing I'd have more time to wait after my audition.

When I arrived back to the polling station at 12:40, the line had only seemed to get longer. It was torture to keep looking over to the other side to three empty voting booths while 100+ people waited for the SINGLE Kings County 85th District Booth.

All told, I cast my ballot at 2:20pm after an hour and forty minutes of waiting. And I didn't succumb to the goodies at the bake sale (at least not until I was on my way out).

As frustrating as waiting in that line was, I feel good about voting. This is probably the biggest election of my lifetime, and it feels like what I did today was important.

I hope that whomever you're voting for, you've done it already. Or if you're on your way, may you have a shorter line than me.

IMPORTANT VOTING INFO!!!

This is from a friend of mine in the East Village of Manhattan who had trouble in her polling station this morning. She said that when only one voting machine was working, they handed out paper ballots to the long line of waiting voters:

I saw the paper ballots people used being ripped up -- so don't use a paper ballot unless you absolutely can't wait in line anymore. And make sure it's an emergency ballot -- NOT a provisional one.

In the end, she said it took her 95 minutes to cast her vote, after arriving at 6am and the station not opening until 625am.

Be aware. Report anything that smells like fraud. AND VOTE!!!

AGAIN!

TONIGHT!!!

Bride of Sinister 6 rides AGAIN!

Halloween Night
TONIGHT @ 8:15p
The Millennium Film Workshop
66 East 4th St
NYC

Tickets $10

Sent from my iPhone: Happy Halloween!

Location: President Street between Court and Clinton Streets, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn.

Not all Jack-o-Lanterns need faces. Hopefully I will walk by here later tonight and catch it all aglow. Then it will be even creepier!

TUESDAY!

VOTE!!!

TONIGHT!

Bride of Sinister 6 is upon us!!

tonight...

and tomorrow...

See Thursday and five other shorts!


Thursday 10/30 @ 7:30p
The Anthology Film Archives
2nd St @ 2nd Ave
NYC

Halloween Night
Friday 10/31 @ 8:15p
The Millennium Film Workshop
66 East 4th St
NYC

Tickets $10

Bootcamp: I Still Go, You Know.

But not today.

I missed today and for the lamest reason. I skipped the 730am class to do the noon class with a couple of friends (and to catch up on a little bit of sleep for once!).

I got to the Carroll St F stop at about 11:20 only to find a G train stuck in the station with no less than like 600 people on the platform staring at the motionless train. There were some MTA workers there too, and I asked them if they knew how long it would take for the train to start moving. They looked at me like I was crazy, like it's NOT THEIR JOB to have info on this sort of thing, and said "Uh, we're trying to figure out the same thing. Nobody knows."

Then I tried to get a cab on Smith St, which was uncharacteristically jammed with traffic. No luck.

It's really annoying when I actually WANT to go to the gym and can't get there. I'm not like most other folk at the Boot Camp-- if my genetics allowed me to lay on the couch eating cheese and sausages all day without looking like a Polish farm maid, I would. But sadly, I come from sturdy stock and ... well, I need to gym it out.

Don't Not Vote

My friend Dan O'Brien is in this video. He's the guy on the right with the coffee. The election, as I'm sure you well know, is less than a week away. Don't be like Dan. Don't not vote.

And if I can be at all persuasive, Don't NOT vote for Obama. That's a double negative, there, friends. In case it's not clear, I mean VOTE BARACK OBAMA!!

Sent from my iPhone: DUMBO Couple

First Seen: F train at 14th St
Exit: York St

Situation: hard to read. She could have been crying or merely afflicted with watery eyes. He was all angular and full of concern. There was a big kerfuffle when the seat next to her opened up and she had a 2-second stare down with an older gentleman that thought he'd sit. She was saving it for her man, so they could continue deeply staring at each other.

In Just One Week...

Thursday screens at Bride of Sinister 6.

What you never want to see while banking online:

There's Citibank, looking out for me. I purchased socks, lunch and ... coffee, maybe?... while in Perugia on Saturday and they thought that was contrary to the regular use of my card. Suspicious, if you will.

Now, granted, I don't often go all the way to Italy to buy socks, but it took them a week to notice transactions from abroad? There were they when I was charging up a storm last Saturday from Termini Station in Rome while trying to use my debit card as phone card at the pay phone?

Italy is Broken

This afternoon we went out for your average trip out for some gelato. Except this time in the Cinquecento, a car that makes the teeny, tiny Smart Car look like something to which Snoop Dogg would add hydraulics.

How Italian, no? 3 people in a tiny car all out for an afternoon snack.

Will's dad took us down the hill to Trestina, a small town about ten minutes away. Will and his dad walked into the store ahead of me, while I lagged behind, daydreaming of what flavors I might combine-- was I in the mood for something chocolate-y? Might they have the chocolate-pepperoncino heaven like at 3 Bis? Maybe something creamy and one sorbetto... any way: Delicious.

As my selections are solidifying in my mind, I realize that the Schenk men have halted in front of me and Will is acting all weird, trying to hide the window that looks onto my beloved treat.

Why?

BECAUSE IT WAS EMPTY!

Apparently, gelato has a season, and this ain't it.

In other news, the week has been perfect: much-needed relaxation has been the central focus. The stress of the lack of gelato is something from which I'm sure we can bounce back.

It's Getting Closer...

I handed my film over to Mr. Sinster himself, Bryan Enk, on Tuesday. We're less than a month away from its screening.

Practical Joke?

I just found a copy of Working Mother magazine in my mailbox. Addressed to me. Is someone playing games here?

Timing is Everything

Wow.

Goodbye $1 Billion Salary, Hello Campbell Soup

I wonder if it will mean anything to me...

Right on the Stoop!

I just sent Will this email to let him know that it's not all sedate and domestic back here in Carroll Gardens:

so i'm walking up toward the stoop with my laundry just now, and I notice that there are some kids, maybe 15-17 years old, three of them, sitting on the stoop of our building. they don't live in our building, from the brief bits of conversation when one of them approached the building next door the girl was all 'shit, no, that's my crib, yo.'

well, the girl was making a transfer from a small plastic baggie to a shiny metal tin. marijuana. on our stoop. now, obviously considering a fair percentage of my friends have indulged in the smoking of pot, i'm not calling the feds, but REALLY. kids are selling pot on our stoop.

there goes the neighborhood.

My Very Own Apartment

Will left for Italy this past Friday and has been taunting me with emails of how wonderful and relaxing it is and how I'm a perfect fool for not going along. I didn't want to take two whole weeks off from auditions and such, so I leave this Friday.

Sure, I miss him when he's gone, but I am developing some coping mechanisms, such as:

• Keeping the apartment as tidy as I like (which, for me, means an absolute mess, but MY mess, my very own mess!)
• Watching whatever TV shows or sappy movies I choose-- I recently blasted through Season 2 of 30 Rock and ... well, let's just say I could watch Say Anything seventeen times in a row if I wanted to!
• I get the WHOLE BED to myself and can twist and turn to my heart's delight without waking up any light sleepers. In that same regard, I can actually make the bed when I get up, which is a task Will deems unnecessary. Or something.

So I'm coping, but I'm very much looking to getting on the plane Friday night. Because as much as I'm doing here, it will be nice to get away for a bit. Really, there's not too much stress when your schedule isn't filled with much more than staring at sheep over lunch:

Ups and Downs and Ups!

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks for me, which may explain my lack of posting. Here's the highlight reel:

Ups:

• After four months of recording demos and waiting, I officially booked the Campbell's Soup spots two weeks ago. I believe they are already airing, so keep an ear out for a soothing voice selling you soup.
• I joined SAG.
• I finished (well, my friend Mark, the super-genius editor actually finished) my film Thursday. I picked up the final cut today and will turn it over to the Mister Sinister himself, Bryan Enk, tomorrow! It will first screen on 10/30 and Halloween-- more info to come.
  
• I booked a couple of spots for Bounty Paper Towels, an industrial for Captain Morgan, a promo for the new Duffy album and some pick-ups on the Prime Outlets commercials I did earlier this year. I just found out this afternoon, too, that I also booked another industrial that records tomorrow.
• I started another round of ass-kicking Fight Studio with Qui and the Vampire Cowboys -- this, mixed with 4x/week of Boot Camp has left me near-hobbled, but I feel great.

There have been a few downers, including riding my bike over my own glasses (really- CRUNCH!) and my good friend Katie Brack packing it up and moving to LA.

But all in all, things feel very much like they're coming together. It's been a long time coming and a lot of hard work, but... it's all very exciting!

Bootcamp: The Open House

Alex and Ruben opened their doors last Friday night to friends, family and anyone wanting to see just what goes down at WFBC. It was fun to hang out with my bootcamp pals while not covered in my puddles of my own sweat!

Mark and Will came along-- Sari and I were secretly hoping that once they saw all the fun climby things they would not be able to resist signing up. No dice.


Although... Mark did manage to find a way to turn the torture devices into toys. I saw him notice the Giant Tire and I was all,

Dude, your wife flips that thing!

And he was all,

WHAT?!

So he decided to look further into the situation. From the inside out.


But hands down the most exciting part of the night was the Demo, featuring five of the most serious bad-asses you'll ever meet just destroying the obstacle course. If there were like honors classes in bootcamp, this would be the class:


It was loud and fast and furious, and in middle of it all I realized,

Uh... I'm at a party: at the Gym.

It was a good time, and I was glad to finally have Will see just why it is that I come home gimpy each morning. That part sounds a little nuts, but it's really the people involved that keep me going back.


Did I mention that I just signed on for three more months? I'm hoping to pass legislation to have the Tire Ride become part of the warm-up.

The Difficulties of Working from Home

Our neighbor across the hall has a dog, some type of poodle-y thing. Her name is Joey (the dog) and she's awfully sweet. And surprisingly not too yappy for a small dog. Although the poor dog does suffer from anxiety, according to her owner. Dog anxiety. Which causes her to FLIP THE FUCK OUT sometimes during the day when there is an unusual level of stirring in the apartment.

Well, this week our neighbor has visitors. Visitors with children! Which makes today one of those days, and unfortunately, I've had a lot of recording to do.

I am writing to you from a little ramshackle pillow and blanket fort I've constructed in the bedroom. Will just lambasted me over IM about how, when we first moved here, I laughed at him when he offered to make me a secret recording room in the office closet.

As I recall, I loved the idea until he mentioned that we could cordon it off with a beaded curtain. That's when I started laughing.

Now, I'll take any sort of foamy sound proofing attached to any tiny space as long as I can lock myself away from the cries of Poodle Anxiety.

Matt Damon on Absurdity

"I need to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago... I want to know that. I really do. Because she's gonna have the nuclear codes."

Friends and family, if you won't listen to me or any other "crazy liberal" around you, listen to Matt Damon. For the love of God (that's what it is with the über-conservatives, right? The Love of God?), Book Banning! Roe v. Wade! Polar Bears! Think about it.

But look no further than the comments section on YouTube for disapproval -- tgilleece writes:

So Matt Damon thinks Sarah Palin becoming president is a "really scary thing" because HE doesn't know anything about her. So go learn something about her, sissy. Of course he then acknowledges that she was mayor of a "really, really small town" and that she was governor of Alaska for "less than two years" and that's why he's wetting his pants. He's "terrified" that she may have the nuclear codes. I guess he feels much safer with those codes in community organizer Obama's pocket? Absurd indeed.

But "go(ing to) learn something about her" may be difficult, sissy or not:

... now the campaign's playing it safer. She's sticking to a greatest hits version of her convention speech on the campaign trail and steering clear of questions until she's comfortable enough for a hand-picked interviewer later this week.

via AP

Eight weeks to become entirely informed about your choices. But information is being carefully metered out to the public on certain topics. Hrmmm.... reminds me of some other notable leaders...

Why Couldn't I Have Been There on THIS Day?

There is a reason that Sesame Street has been on the air now going on 40 seasons!! They're Just. Plain. Cool.

via Will

Bootcamp: "Because you’re not going to take any shit from the terrorists"

Warrior Fitness Boot Camp is listed in the Spas & Sport section of Time Out New York this week. Check it out, then CHECK THEM OUT!

For Real, these guys will whip you into shape like nobody's business. And they offer a trial class. If you're in the city and looking to get into a serious work-out regimen, get yourself over there now.

True, it is very hard and very tiring. But then again, isn't being a sad sack of chubby sloth also very hard and very tiring?

It's Coming...

Mark your calendars for Thursday October 30 and for Halloween night when my first film, Thursday, will screen as part of Bride of Sinister 6.

We shot on Labor Day weekend and the raw footage is with my editor now. I'll post more stills over the next month or so and keep you posted as to how it's coming together.

It Was on the Tip of My Tongue

I have been trying to find the words for this. Heather Armstrong figured it out just ahead of me:

I get the feeling that people around the world are looking at this election as a gauge to see if America is finally ready to wake up and realize that we are not the only country on this planet. They are waiting to see if we are going to put yet another fundamentalist loon in charge of public and foreign policy, someone who doesn't think that global warming is in any way caused by humans, so screw the rest of you who live here on this planet, we need that cup of oil with breakfast in the morning.

To my readers who do not live in America, who are not American, please know that there are so many of us here who are disgusted with what we have let happen in the last eight years and are doing everything we can to ensure that it stops. We are just as scared as you are of those around us who have their fingers in their ears and are going LA LA LA LA LA in an attempt to convince themselves that their behavior and their policies are not in direct violation of the teachings of the God they think put them in power.

Before the RNC started up, I really didn't think I knew a single Republican, save for a few of my friend's dads from other states. I am flabbergasted by how many of my friends, friends that I think highly of, have said that they are "impressed by" and "HUGE fan(s) of" VP Nominee Sarah Palin.

Really.

I just got this in an email, from a friend that I've known almost 20 years:

I'm really sorry but I"m a huge Palin fan. I mean, HUGE. Did you see her speak?

I told her that no, I had not seen Palin's speech at the RNC, but that I did happen to catch this gem. I also told her that I don't for one second believe that she, my dear smart friend, could truly want this woman, fueled by her "devotion to Jesus Christ", a single degree of separation from her getting her finger on the button.

My fingers are in my ears and I'm all "LA LA LA LA LA".

John McCain is Bugging the F**k Out!

"November Fourth. We have to protect our future. Because John McCain is bugging the fuck out."

via FREEWilliamsburg

I never realized how much I enjoy P.Diddy! Especially after receiving this in an email yesterday, from (I think) an uncle from my father's side of the family*:

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.


I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.


I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA .

I can't even begin to write how much I wholeheartedly disagree and dislike the sentiment behind these statements, never mind the statements themselves. All I can say is whoever keeps forwarding these emails to me is BUGGING THE F**K OUT!!!**


*I am an only-child, but I have an incredibly large extended family-- I am the youngest of 49 grandchildren on my father's side. So there's bound to be some-- um... differences in opinion, especially on the topics of race and religion. I don't know that side of my family very well, so to learn about these aspects of them via email forwards is hugely eye-opening and sadly disappointing. I have since asked to be removed from this mailing list.
** Thanks, Diddy.

Icon: Don LaFontaine

You may not have known his name, but you absolutely know his voice. Sadly, Mr. Movie Trailer Don LaFontaine passed away yesterday.

I hope he laid those trailers down years in advance, because the movies just won't be the same without him.

It Comes Full Circle

We're shooting my movie tomorrow, so I've spent the day today shopping for props and last-minute necessities (before today, I did not own a hairbrush. Don't ask.).

Not to give too much away, but a good part of the film has my character preparing a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner. So off I went in search of hearty fall foods. I do believe I may have been the only person in the tri-state area and beyond today shopping for Turkey, taters, squash and cranberry sauce*.

I was spared a little work, though, thanks to my genius friend Becca who, when I told her I'd be stuffing turkey all day Saturday, said "just go to Jive Turkey!"

I was all, "whatchu talkin' 'bout, Jive Turkey, turkey?!"

Jive Turkey (yes, I just like saying "Jive Turkey") is a fantastic little take-out joint in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn, that specializes in, well... turkey: sandwiches, salads and all things Thanksgiving. I walked into this store at noon and by 12:15, I had in my possession a WHOLE TURKEY. Cooked. Actually, it's a Deep Fried Turkey. GENIUS.

I was immediately reminded of the day, just over nine years ago, that I moved to New York. My dear friend, Will Shepard drove me to Logan Airport in Boston. The 45-minute car ride got pretty intense-- I was nervous, excited, terrified and dumbfounded all at once. And I started to cry.

In an effort to assuage my overwhelmed-ness, Mr. Shepard told me something that I've never forgotten. He said

You are moving to the greatest city in the world. You have no idea yet of the people you're going to meet. Amazing people. And this is the only place ON THE PLANET that you can have a whole roast turkey and a bag of heroin delivered to your door at four in the morning.

At the time, I had no idea why anyone would need a whole roast turkey at such an odd hour.

But now I understand. I have met the most amazing people, and to my delight and surprise I continue to encounter spectacular folk. Though I never indulged in narcotic home delivery, I have fought off many a hangover with a deli delivery of coffee, Gatorade and an Egg and Cheese on a Roll. And today, even though my bird is fried and I had to go to the store to get it, I take it as a sign that all is right with my world.

*It did, at one point, seem impossible to find jellied cranberry sauce in the Red Hook Fairway. I mistakenly thought it would be with canned vegetables, but *DUH*, jellied cranberry sauce lives in the canned fruit aisle!

Big Weekend!

At the gym the other day, someone mentioned something about the upcoming long weekend. I paused, figured it out and said

Oh, that's right! It's Labor Day weekend!

My friend looked at me with a mixture of bafflement and near-disdain and replied

You obviously don't work 9 to 5 because everyone who does is acutely aware that it is Labor Day Weekend!

It's true. I don't work 9 to 5. I never really have, save for the odd temp job/nanny gig here and there. I keep odd hours, and I'm coming, finally, into a position where I feel it's paying off*.

But instead of having an end-of-summer BBQ or taking that one last trip to the country/beach, I'm working all weekend.

I'm shooting a film. It's the first time I've written (with loads of help from dear, creative friends) and will act and direct a film. And after an excruciating development process filled with lots of ideas and excitement and the scrapping of said ideas and excitement and starting over, I am happy to say I think we've got something pretty great.

The film is called Thursday and my good friend Jennifer O'Donnell will assist me in the behind-the-camera dealings, whilst the mightily talented Katie Brack and Ian MacRae will join me on-camera. We're using the same DP and Gaffer as we did for the Benchcoach videos, and my good friend Mark Nickelsburg will take charge of editing. Will's aunt Deborah and Uncle Proctor have generously lent us their home, conveniently located just a few blocks from our apt, to shoot in, which, as I hope you'll come see, is the ideal setting in which to tell this story.


Thursday will screen on October 30 at the Anthology Film Archives and on Halloween at the Millennium Film Workshop as part of the Bride of Sinister 6 festival, curated and produced by my good friend Bryan Enk, featuring 6 short films by 6 lady directors.

So enjoy your BBQ/Beach/Country home time, and mark your calendars for the end of October!


*More on the pay-off later.

Bootcamp: Afternoon Delight

I've been having problems over the last couple of weeks with getting to Bootcamp for the 7:30 class. It's not with waking up as I've been doing that when my alarm goes off at 6:30. It's the actual leaving, the getting-out-the-door.

There was last week, when I had the shoulder blade glitch. There was yesterday, when I woke up with the same thing. Then today, I couldn't find my keys! Sounds like a bad excuse, but it's true. I've got the early-morning subway schedule down: I have to leave the bedroom by 6:42am on Will's alarm clock which gives me about 1-3 minutes to gather my things (bag, water bottle, keys, etc) and get out the door. If I'm still in the apt at 6:50, I'm not going to make it. There's a woman that is usually on my train in the morning. She has short dark hair, a thick Brooklyn accent and wears an abusive amount of perfume. If I'm not nauseated by her scent, I'm not going to make it. And I learned, back in the days of poor Wong, you just DO NOT show up to Bootcamp late.

Today I couldn't find my keys and was just generally not awake in time enough to motor out the door. So I went to the 1pm class.

It was not a bad class-- 7 of us all together, but there were a few doozies.

Alex has been really into the "Push-Planks" lately, a deadly combo of push-ups and plank position. You start in plank and lift your arms one at a time to reach a push-up position. It is a killer on your abs. Did I mention he worked that one in after Pull-ups? Sneaky bastard.

Then Ruben thought it would be fun to do Diamond Push-ups. This is your basic push-up, except that your hands are close enough together to form a diamond. My arms and ... well, I don't know what the other muscles are called because I didn't know I even had them!-- they were all shaking. All of my arms and arm-related muscles. Shaking.

This further supports my theory that these two men WILL NOT REST until I am in London 2012 on the Polish Weightlifting Team.

Purple Drank / Nevermind

Purple drank is a slang term for a recreational drug popular in the hip-hop community of the southern United States. Its main ingredient is prescription-strength cough syrup containing codeine and promethazine.

I believe I have now, officially, seen everything.

via Gothamist

Also along the lines of having seen everything, I heard a little story the other day on NPR. It was about the kid on the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind, an album that my mother and her eardrums probably wish I never bought. You know, the naked baby floating in the pool with the dollar bill in front of him.

His name is Spencer Elden and he's seventeen now. I was slightly younger when filled with the angst to which that album spoke. And he longs for something more

Life in general isn't quite as "cool" as it was when he jumped naked in the pool in the early '90s, though, he says. These days, his peers are too stuck on the Internet and video games. Ironically, he yearns for the era that gave Kurt Cobain, the lead singer for Nirvana, so much angst.

These days, Elden says, his peers concentrate on "playing Rock Band on Xbox, like, that's not a real band! That's the difference between the '90s and kids nowadays; kids in the '90s would actually go out and make a [real] band!"

Wow. Leave it to the Nevermind Baby to drop the logic that makes me feel old. Ok. I think I may need to drown my sorrows in some Tussin & Sprite.

Bootcamp: So I Took a Few Days Off...

I didn't realize everyone was so concerned about my physical fitness!

I've had a painful ... let's call it a glitch in my left shoulder blade that started on Friday morning and persisted throughout the weekend and kept on keepin' on this morning. It was so bad at one point that any time I tried to roll over in bed, while sleeping the sleep of the dead that I sleep, I was jerked awake in severe pain.

I figured a weekend of rest would make it better, but it was still there when my alarm sounded at 6:30am today. So I bailed on Boot Camp, thinking that it was pretty unlikely that we'd have a day without having to use our upper bodies at all.

Well, boy, did I cause a stir!

First, from Ruben:

WTF REED!!

What happened this morning?

Then, Nickelburg chimed in, via a Facebook:

They're gonna make me do extra stuff if you're not there tomorrow, and if I'm doing 'extra stuff' at boot camp tomorrow morning YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT ROBIN!!!

(ed. note: this one went on for quite a few more sentences and involved what I can only infer are OBSCENE emoticons)

I replied, stating my case, and found a response in her Status Update:

Sari Nickelsburg wants Robin to know that if she doesn't get to boot camp tomorrow, that I am going to come down to Brooklyn and kick her butt all over the Stinky Cheese bar.

Then I got it from Friesell, also via Facebook:

they're gonna make me do extra stuff tomorrow too if you're not there... just kidding, but I thought maybe it would help get your ass to Boot Camp!

Gee. I never realized everyone cared so much. I just cried one single lonely tear! And then I got jabbed again with the stinging pain in my back. Well, either way, I'll scrap the tears and the belly-aching and report back after what I'm sure will be a hell day tomorrow morning!

Meep Meep Morning!

I'm not much of a scientist, but for my money, Beaker is just the Best Muppet Ever. Statler and Waldorf are up there, but meep meep meep Beaker has always made me smile. Don't agree? Watch this and see if you don't change your mind:

via Will

Audiciones (that means "Auditions" in Spanish!)

Within the past two weeks, I've somehow become a bilingual VO Artist. Sort of without my even knowing it, and certainly without planning.

A few months ago, I recorded a slew of commercials for Prime Outlets, a chain of outlet malls that are nowhere New York. About three weeks ago, I got a call from one of the ad execs saying they wanted to hire me to do a couple of pick-ups and "Do you happen to speak Spanish?"

Do I speak Spanish? Good question.

It was a speech in Spanish that secured me the win as Secretary of my Junior High class against the very popular Jesse Jozokos-- Puerto Rican teens made up about half the population of my class and were very excited to hear me tell them that I would make certain we had better DJs at our dances in their native tongue.

And anyone who has worked in restaurants in a major city as long as I have has to pick up at least the basics of what we, in the business, call "Kitchen Spanish". Kitchen Spanish is what you use to ask the busboy to clear a particular table, to alert the dishwasher to your immediate need for forks and to offer the line cooks alcoholic beverages at the end of a long night ("¿Hombres, cervezas?"). Kitchen Spanish is usually spoken with the most horrific of gringo accents, but it gets the point across.

But then I had to go and study Italian for six months. When I began, all I could do was think in Spanish. As my Italian progressed, my Spanish went Adios.

So when I was asked if I happened to speak Spanish, my fairly honest reply was "Well, I used to speak better than I do now, but I'm sure I could do it with a script!" Why say no to a job when all you need to do is try?

When I was actually in the booth recording, I was so nervous that the bottoms of my feet were sweating. (I like to take my shoes off when I record-- I'm always in that room alone, so hopefully this doesn't offend anyone!) I got an extra flutter in my belly when they brought Elizabeth, the account rep from Puerto Rico, on to the conference call.

But, I'm happy to report, I pulled it off. I even overheard Elizabeth say at the end of the call "it sounds like she really speaks Spanish!"

I had an audition yesterday and was the first to arrive. The casting director asked me if I spoke Spanish. I said "uh, actually... well, I can read in Spanish." So she had me prepare both, though I think my lack of a straight answer didn't exactly instill her with confidence in me.

When I went into the booth, she had me do a dry run in Spanish, just to be certain it was worth the disk space. I think I actually read the spot better in Spanish than in English!

I left the room and walked out to see a bench full of full-blown latinas, so I'm not holding my breath for that one.

Bootcamp: Extra Killing Yourself!

2 days in a row of suicides. I think that qualifies me as officially near dead. My hands are torn to shreds thanks to my love-hate-love-HATE relationship with the monkey bars, and my knees make me feel like I'm closing in on my 85th birthday.

I just have to remember (as Will is so kind as to keep pointing out) that I willingly pay these guys to do this to me. Oy.

Bootcamp: Suicides*

It's been an odd week for me and Bootcamp. There was the aforementioned Nyquil/Sudafed debacle which left me in rough shape. I took yesterday off, choosing rather to stay home and attempt to cough up a lung**.

Today was my first day this week where I felt really good enough to be there. I probably should have stayed home one more day, though, to escape the dreaded Suicides***!

There were two teams of circuit training today, and we all got stuck doing the suicides. I guess my team had the easier one (ha!) because someone on the other team told me theirs involved the stairs! Ours was two sets of suicides (see below), two laps around the gym, hurdles then monkey bars.

I absent-mindedly left my gloves in my bag, so the monkey bars helped me add to my hand callous collection yet again!

While it was one person's turn to do the suicides, the other three were doing things with resistance bands, dumbbells and some awful jumping onto a bar on the wall thing that I'm sure is precisely what passes time in hell. Four circuits, so we all got a turn on each thing. Joy.

I have to give them credit-- Alex and Ruben manage to come up with something new each and every day. Sure, we repeat stuff, but NEVER have I done the same workout twice.

I guess that's a good thing?

* Dear Friends and Family: Do not be alarmed by the title of this post. Or the photo attached. Just remember I am paying these men to do this to me.
** Came close, but not didn't quite pull it off.
*** Suicide Sprints: sprint from an end line to other designated line on the field or court. Once this designated line is touched, the athlete is expected to turn around and sprint back to the original line where he/she will turn around again and sprint towards another line that lies beyond the first line he/she touched. This process is repeated until each line has been touched.

Bootcamp: Proceed with Caution

Don't take Nyquil the night before Bootcamp and expect to be super-alert during class.

I was walking when I was supposed to be running, my legs were bent when they were supposed to be straight, straight when they were supposed to be bent and I was just all sorts of out of it.

And taking Sudafed in the morning does not, as I simply thought, counter the effects of the "So You Can Rest" medicine.

Accept No Imitations!

The BBC reports on a new search engine, Cuil.com. It was created by three former Google employees and they say they rival their former boss in search-able pages alone (they claim they search over 121 Billion pages).

Though I often heartily resist change, I thought I'd check it out. I Cuil-ed myself and determined on my first search that Google has NOTHING to worry about.

First off, the "magazine-style" layout is unfamiliar to me and not as clear and easy to navigate as a search on Google.

Second. Well, look at this clip from my search:
Now the search results are for me, but who is Eff is that blazer-clad woman? Certainly those are not her Promo and Commercial demos linked to that posting! No, that Robin Reed is the General Code's new representative in the State of Michigan, as well as Indiana and Ohio. I have a sneaking suspicion she does not do voiceovers. And, might I add, thank the Internet Overlords for Google, for without it, I would have no idea who this impostor was!

Another blip I don't understand is the "Search by Category" section on the page:

What on earth does "Robin Reed" have to do with Oregon, Beavers and/or Sports? And notice the measley 45,449 search results; Google came back with over 300,000:


Maybe Cuil is still working out some kinks, but I don't see myself switching over any time soon. Google is as much of a household name as BAND-AID, Kleenex or Xerox.

After all, you can't be a chump product and a verb!

via Popgadget

Bootcamp: Long Live Hand Callouses!

After yesterday's foray back into the bi-weekly world of the Fitness Test (I did more sit-ups than ever, but my dead-arm hang time dropped 50%-- that's right: 2 seconds), we had a six-man class at the Bootcamp this morning.

Correction: 4-man, 2-woman class.

In their quest to never quit until Friesell and I look like actual men, Alex and Ruben treated this morning as a 6-MAN class. I actually reached a point where I was going to just plain TAKE a water break and see if they dare try to stop me.

Ruben, bless his soul, was on a mission for me to have a great sense of accomplishment. At least, that's the best argument I've come up with. I was having some problems with the monkey bars (maybe because I had just done a billion push-ups and a boatload of running?) and he was determined to see to it that I won that battle. It became tougher and tougher-- he watched as I struggled and fell, did his best to motivate me by threatening me with 10 squat thrusts for every fall (I did 50 then another 20 and, yes, nearly died) and then, I think, took great joy when I finally did it.

When I was leaving, he looked quite proud when he asked me if I wasn't glad I made it all the way across. I said

What you don't understand is that I'm just as happy when I almost make it across!

And thus, one of our fundamental differences. Perhaps Ruben will mold me into a great athlete without my even knowing.

And perhaps I will then be crowned Queen of England.

Bootcamp: Note to Self-- Don't EVER Skip a Week

After our trip to LA, I found waking up at 6:30am more difficult than ever. So much so that on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week, I gave into the demons and just went back to bed. To be honest, yesterday I actually got up, showered, got dressed and was out the door, but when I saw that it was gray and rainy through the skylight in the hall, I decided that Tuesday and Wednesday's plan was probably a good fit for Thursday as well.

Which made this morning all the more important and difficult. No matter when I go to bed, I want to throw a grenade at my alarm when it blares at 6:30. But this morning I trudged through, left the house and headed to Bootcamp.

My entrance was met with rounds of menacing faux-cheers from Alex and Ruben, who both questioned my whereabouts for the past few days. Jetlag, sunburn and just plain 'sleeping-in-is-better-than-not-sleeping-in' did not seem to appease them. As I sat and waited for the 6:30 class to finish up, I could feel the fear building up in my belly.

And then it happened. A quick warm-up led to everyone running up the stairs to the eleventh floor. Somehow I managed to keep pace with Long, WFBC's Captain Endurance. When we got back to 3, Ruben set him on a path of bearcrawling, while I was sent back up to the eleventh floor.

That's right. Double Stairs. I guess they missed me.

For the rest of the class, I was partnered with Quinn, who seems to find great joy and a sense of accomplishment in setting records there (I heard he once did the whole obstacle course in like 15 seconds!). Poor Quinn. Stuck with me. Most of our exercises were based on each other-- I would run while he did jumping squats, then he did pull-ups while I did jumping squats, and so on. Let's just say that Quinn got extra time on everything as my shaky legs adjusted to being back.

But, I did not die. And I'm going back tomorrow. Eeesh.

Triangularity

You may remember back at the end of March that I became a member of the Triangle Lover's Club on Sesame Street.

Many of you have asked when it will be on-- did you not trust I was telling the truth, or are you just SO excited to see me immersed in bright primary colors and shapes?

Well either way, wait no longer because the show is about to air! I got this email from my friend Carrie, the casting director:

Airdates!!!!!!!!

Your fabulous Triangular Debut will be Wednesday August 20th. Also September 17th and November 28th. We don't have dates yet for 09.

Just to let you know....some stations air a day off so you might want to watch the day before of and after or just check with your local PBS station for show # 4167.

So figure out what channel that is for you and tune in!

Back East

Will and I returned home from LA on Monday night and it's taken me a couple of days of sleeping in to get back into the swing of things again. Not entirely sure I'm there yet, but working on it.

LA was a ton of fun and included a trip to the Magic Castle where we saw more card tricks than you could shake a wand at. We didn't know until the last minute that we'd need a jacket and tie for Will, hence the mixed bag of an outfit on him in the photo below-- personally, I think he looked FANTASTIC! Who says stripes and paisley flowers aren't a perfect match?!


We also got to spend some time with my good friend Kate (in photo, the person who isn't me or Will) and got a tour of Nickelodeon and a BBQ and sweet sweet pool time with my friend Ed Valentine who is out there as part of the writing fellowship at Nick.

Other than that, it was much needed relaxation and time at the beach and in our rent-a-convertible.

Oh, and we flew Virgin America, the world's coolest airline. I can't recommend it highly enough. I learned to play video Mahjong on the plane. Need I say more?

Bootcamp: That GIANT Tire is NOT Decorative

Those tires at the Bootcamp haunt my dreams. I've pressed them up and down, held them over my head for exorbitant amounts of time and taken them for a jaunt up and down 8 flights of stairs.

But I never could have seen today coming.

Today Ruben concocted the most horrific piece of circuit training to come along since the advent of circuit training.

Four of us. Four stations:

• Squats (squatting down so your butt touches a single tire on the ground-- that's about 8" for those of you who don't frequent bootcamps, salvage yards or auto body shops)
• Push-ups (or an excruciatingly long handstand, in my case) with your feet up on a vertically standing tire
• Step-ups onto a maybe 2' box with a set of 15lb dumbbells

and the WHAT-THE-F-AM-I-DOING-THIS-FOR leg:

• suicide sprints (2 sets), followed FLIPPING THE GIANT TIRE THE LENGTH OF THE ROOM, followed by a run up to the 8th floor, while all the while Ruben yelling (cheerleading?) for it to be done faster (naturally)
  

I don't know what I was doing in this group. I suspect since Nickelburg doesn't "do" Wednesdays, they crammed me in there in her place. I managed to get through it, though I think I extended everyone's time on their station with my lack of TIRE FLIPPING skills.

Let me explain: this tire weighs no less than 700lbs. Enough said.

My arms and legs went far past the point of shaking from exhaustion after today. They had scurried over to the land of numb, from which they may never return. I don't know how on earth I'm even awake or alive right now*.

Luckily, I'm out of town for the next few days and won't return there until Tuesday. At which point someone might be kind enough to put the final nail in my coffin and float me gently out into the Hudson.

*Nickelburg did make a good point in absentia today, though: should I survive all of this, I'll probably be down to my starting weight by the end of it. Like, my birth weight. 8 or so pounds. 5'6", 8lbs 3oz. Bikini Season, here I come!