Will is Out of Town; Had to Call Carrie

One of my first (and funniest, WAY after the fact) memories of moving to New York happened within my first week of being here. It was in Brooklyn, actually, where I was sharing a 1-month sublet with my friend at the time, a lovely ground floor of a Brownstone in Prospect Heights (on Park Place between Vanderbilt and Underhill).

I had a plan to meet Carrie at the coffee shop down the block. She was coming out from Manhattan, so I had enough time to take a shower. It was a small shower, just a stand-up stall as I recall. I turned on the water, then went to undress in the undressing room. I returned and, in my towel, pulled back the curtain to get in.

To my shock, horror and ultimate shrieking yelps, waiting there for me on the shower wall was my introduction to one of the most disgusting terrors of New York City Life: a waterbug. (for the 16 non-New Yorkers who read this blog and don't know what a waterbug is, click on the link because I can't go into detail-- it's just too gross).

Screaming, and wrapped in my towel, I sprinted out to the living room and called Carrie, who luckily had not yet left her apartment. I don't remember if I had worked myself up to the point of tears, but I was definitely panicked and I asked her if I thought it would be appropriate for me to go to the coffee shop at that very moment-- granted, I was only wearing a towel, but I needed to call in reinforcements and I didn't know anyone else in the neighborhood!

Well, tonight I was brought right back to that fateful afternoon in August 1999. After a long day of rehearsal, Fringe Adjudication and seeing an early evening show, I came home and turned on the stove to boil some water for a quick little pasta dinner. The water boiled, I puttered around, I cooked pasta. Just as it was nearing al dente, I got the strainer and as I moved aside a pot in the sink to place it down, I shrieked the horror-shriek of 8/99 as there was a really-HUGE-and-really-GROSS waterbug just sitting there in the sink.

Now besides being an excellent person to have around when your computer dies or ... well, there are other things Will does around the house but it's late and I can't quite muster a list (forgive me)... Will is great at flushing a bug down the toilet.

Murphy's Law: Will is out of town (for his dad's birthday-- Happy Birthday, Larry!), a bug sets up camp in the sink.

I know you're all probably at the edge of your seats right now wondering how I survived. Well, I called Carrie. She suggested I throw on a towel and hit the nearest café. Just as I was trying to figure out how I could maneuver past the sink to grab my towel without being spied by Mr. Bug, I realized she was only kidding. I ended up straining the pasta into another pot then pouring the hot water into the sink-- don't worry, I looked away. Actually, I only half-looked away. I saw Mr. Bug sort of spin out in the current. I think he was already dead, because neither my screams (can bugs hear?) nor my pasta water seemed to make him make a move. Unfortunately, he's too big to slip down the drain (GROSSGROSSGROSS!!!), so...

Well, let's just say that I've left some of the fun for Will's return home.

Yes, dear. If you're reading this before you've been in the kitchen, that brown paper cup sitting upside down in the sink is there for a reason. I'll leave the toilet seat up. Thanks!