Bootcamp: The Noon Class is NOT 30 Minutes Long!

I REPEAT: it's a full hour, kids. No fun when you think you're gonna have it easy and the hell time doubles! There's no such thing as an easy day in the Boot Camp, no matter how many times Ruben says "Easy Day!" at the end of class.

Today could very well have been the hardest day ever and it's my own damned fault. Misconceptions lead to a very difficult workout. Here are just a few of the minor tragedies that led to my noontime malaise:

• 30 minutes? 1 hour? Who knows. I've heard tell of this quickie class, but it was nowhere to be found today. No sir. Sixty hot, sweaty minutes.
  
• 3 person class. Added personal attention. I have mentioned before that I feel no need to stand out in the Bootcamp. I would much rather hide behind columns and inside giant tires. But it was 2 of them against 3 of us-- we were being hawkeyed. There was no way out.
  
• Hot as hell. Everyone recalls Alex saying on live television that "It's nice & cool in our joint... we have A/C!", but none of us have yet to experience it.* I think they turn it on once we've all safely left the building.

Yep, I got some personal attention today. It seemed to be Ruben's mission to get me to jump over the hurdles rather than climb them as I usually do. This left a couple of fresh bruises on my legs, but I managed to pull it off a couple of times. And not to be left out, Alex made it his mission to see me cross the entire set of monkey bars**, which left me with the most hideous dime-sized blisters on top of the callous farm on my fingers. Good thing my hand-modeling career is no longer my prime focus.

And really, who needs two milestone achievements in one day? I'm no glory hog. I'm still amazed I show up each day!

I also learned a very valuable lesson today: Gatorade during the workout is just not for me. When it was time for my nano-second water break, I slugged a slug of orange Gatorade and it was like having a gigantic candy apple shoved down my throat.

Water Break: n. time in a workout used for catching up on breathing. And sometimes for sipping clear, cool H2O.

Even though today maimed and nearly killed me, it was all worth it when I discovered that the doorman of the building keeps a little hobby going at his post. As I walked past him, I noticed something all colorful and shiny. This little old Irish man makes beaded necklaces! It was perhaps the sweetest thing I've ever seen.***

*I live for the giant fan near the window. It feels sometimes like my only friend.
**When I've said in the past that I did them, I actually meant I did half-- there are about 8-10 ascending to the center, then another 8-10 going the other way. Sue me, it felt like an accomplishment.
*** There is no way on earth that this man reads this blog, but just in case, let me make it clear that it was "sweet" in the MOST MASCULINE way imaginable.