Commission a Play, Help a Friend

I just got an email from my colleague, often director and friend Jeffrey A. Lewonczyk. It touched me a little close to home.

Back in my bartending/table-waiting days, when restaurants closed/redesigned/went-under, I collected unemployment, anywhere from a whopping $300-405 per week. These are monies that we all pay into, and the payout is reserved strictly for times of need.

Click here to see how my pal Jeff is sort of getting screwed by his collection of unemployment, and the steps he's taking to make it right. I don't have all the details-- I expect I'll have to spring for a can of PBR (or a one-page play) to get him to spill it-- but I say, if you have the means, why not throw it his way? (although, don't forget that Ed and I, under the auspices of our theater company Cardium Mechanicum, will probably be hitting you up for something resembling a tax-deductible donation within the next year or so, so give what you can, but reserve a slice for us!!)

Will Calls Me "Clown", Giggles.

I don't know if it's the fact that there are stripes on each item I'm wearing or if it's the fact that I've got on bright pink styrofoam shoes, but Will got quite a chuckle out of my outfit today.

Cut me some slack, man.

I was running around all morning doing last minute errands before our trip to Korea (we leave Thursday), including picking up some unmentionables for my friend who lives there-- apparently there's no Gap Body in Busan, South Korea.

I also had to find something to wear to Sang and Lisa's wedding. Having never before been to a traditional Korean wedding, I asked Will to ask Sang what I should wear. Sang's reply? According to Will, he said "whatever".

Now take a look at the photo above. When given poetic license with my dress, I will outfit myself like Rainbow Brite, especially if there's a party.

Perhaps Will realized this. He told me I should ask Lisa, the bride. Her response? "Conservative." Remember, I think what I'm wearing in that photo could be considered "business casual". She said that she had seen a video from a wedding that looked like a business dinner.

I'm having my briefcase polished as we speak.

You'll Never Believe This One

I found out yesterday that I booked a voiceover job.

I'm going to be the voice of a talking remote control. Like an actual device. With buttons.

It's working title is the "Control-a-Man" and my guess is that it will be sold at novelty shops in malls around the country. Buttons pushed will say things like "Kiss Me, You Fool!" and "What About My Needs?".

I'm starting to amass a peculiar resume... but I'm getting paid to talk. What could be better?!

Busy. Wait, no. Swamped.

It's been a maddening couple of weeks. Sorry I've been out of touch.

So I'm working on that show at the Museum of Natural History. It's fun, but I've still got a bit of work ahead of me-- kids are coming to the dress rehearsal tomorrow, so technically, I've got a show in about 24 hours.

After working for a few years on the movement-based and word-free Bizarre Science Fantasy shows, learning lines has become quite a task! I've watched myself in rehearsal and my instinct is to keep moving, especially when I can't remember what to say! I know that I will pull it off, but right now I should really have my nose in a script.


But no, instead I'm choosing to procrastinate. I just broke out the iSight camera and started goofing off. Technology is neat! (Don't worry, I'm saying my lines while I'm doing this...)

Will is currently in Berlin checking out apartments. I was originally going to go with him, but then I got this show, so I'm here in New York dodging the hailstorm. The initial report back according to Will is that Brokers are the same even all the way across the globe-- he says X is how much I want to spend, so they show him apartments that cost X + XYZ thousand.

Then in two weeks, we're off to Korea for Will's friend's wedding. My friend Jennifer O'Donnell is there, too, teaching English, so we'll get to pay her a visit as well. I've never been to Asia (unless you count Russia, which I really don't), and I'm really excited.

We're home for two weeks after that, then off to London for my friend Julia's wedding.

Doesn't anyone get married locally in the states anymore? We've got Will's cousin's wedding in Pennsylvania in May, a college friend of mine in Massachusetts also in May then my friend Katie Brack in August in Utah.

Anyone ever heard of New York City Hall???

In other news, I finally sucked it up and got a haircut last week. When we got back from Italy, I learned that my hairdreser of more than four years had left the salon where I last saw her. I tried calling, I put a lost and found ad on Craigslist, I asked everyone I knew but nobody knew where she went. So I found a little shop in my neighborhood run by a sweet little Japanese couple. It was great. Chi washed my hair for like 20 minutes-- so long that I actually fell asleep!

I also got a new cell phone. My old phone literally broke in half, so there was really no option. Not exactly sure how I feel about it yet. Part of me is excited that it's so new and small and cool, but another part wonders why a phone can't just be a phone-- does is also need to be a camera, video camera, modem and video arcade? I figured out how to play video pool before I learned how to check my voicemail. Eeesh.

I guess this month is about me learning that change can be good...

More More More!

We are officially available for download as a podcast on iTunes. You can subcribe by clicking here. Then you can carry us around in your iPod or mp3 player and have us with you wherever you go. Boy, you're lucky!

Will Has a Go at Acting

We're still plugging away at the Crush Project. Will has officially become a part of it, and not just on the technical side! Check it out here-- he's pretty good!

In Other News...

I got a job. Well, I've had jobs-- a bunch of them, actually. And they've even been acting jobs, in a way... But this one I'm very excited about. I'm going to be "working" in the Science Musuem here in the city doing a show for kids about Evolution! (after having just watched Jesus Camp this week, though, I'm wondering how often Fundamentalists roll into the Evolution exhibit and if there will be any altercations... I'll keep you posted.)

It's actually technically my first one-woman show and I think it's going to be a lot of fun. They are just finishing up the exhibit that is centered around three skeletons: one of a chimp, another of a hominid and then a human skeleton. I go into rehearsal next week and the first show is open to the public on the 18th of February.

It's not Tony-nomination material, but I think it's gonna be fun just the same!

I also had a couple of meetings with Ed, my theater company partner, this week. We're finalizing plans for submitting his plays to festivals this summer and talking about a whole bunch of other stuff. He and I are turning out to be a great match: the stuff that he's good at is not necessarily my strong point and vice versa. It already feels like we inspire and encourage each other. I'm really excited to get into an actual production with our new company.

Also, there has been a hair of interest sparked over our Crush Project. I met a guy who does promotions and press stuff and he thinks the project is really unique and interesting. We're going to sit down with him within a week or so and see how we can work together. Until then, Will and I are working on making the actual site more streamlined and the actors and I are building more content, which is totally fun. I think we might even be on iTunes as a podcast... last I heard we were awaiting approval.

I still don't fully know the shape this whole thing is going to take, but I'm happy that people are finding it intriguing... it's a fun ride!

How's it goin', friends in Boston?

Not quite sure how I feel about the recent, um... Terrorism Scare (?) in Boston.

If you have not yet heard, you can read about it here, here and here (yeah, that last one is from the Times India-- Boston news journals surprisingly are not top on the search engines... but India is on it!) You can also see videos here, and my favorite is here.

Now here's the thing. I know it's fun to say "oh look at the politicians/cops/firemen/news jerks who didn't even know that these were Lite-Brites and not bombs" and "who doesn't know about the Aqua Teen Hunger Force?!". It's acutally pretty funny, like when the three-year-old is the only one in the house who knows how to program the VCR.

I don't think it's funny, per se, that cops and firemen and whoever else had to run out and "dismantle" the suspected terror. What I don't understand, though, is that these light boxes cum guerrilla marketing campaigns were just sitting around under bridges, etc. for two weeks and it wasn't until a phone call came in from an average citizen that the alarms were sounded.

If we Americans have learned anything from our strict diet of fear infusions over the past six years, it's that ... well ... um. Any ideas?

Sharing Space

So I'm currently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, the Lotus Club on the Lower East Side.

It's nothing fancy, but I love it because it is one of the first places I frequented in my neighborhood, and unfortunately places of this kind are becoming extinct (thanks largely to high rents that apparently only Starbucks can afford).

It's an easy-going sort of place. The coffee is not great, but it's cheap and mellow. During the day, it's a laptop-o-rama since they have free wireless. And at night it turns into a sort of dive bar with cheap drinks, the way a lot of places in this neighborhood used to be.

The problem, though, with a place like this can attract some really annoying people. Take the couple next to me. (and by "next to me" I mean at my table) Now granted, I'm at a table for four, but that's ok during the day since it's not busy and there are lots of empty tables around. And this table is near a plug for the trusty ol' computer. The guy was meandering around, and I thought he was looking for a plug-- you sort of start to recognize that wanting glare people get when they're looking for juice.

In a small fit of neighborly goodness, I offered him a seat at my table.

Big Mistake. Give someone an inch and they take a mile.

Not only did he not have a computer, he has a friend who has since joined him (she's here now rustling her newspaper every three seconds or so) and a penchant for singing along to the radio.

You know, buddy, I like Cat Stevens just as much as the next guy, but you're not in your shower. You're in public. And if you don't know all the words to Whiter Shade of Pale, it is NOT ok to just hum along. I have headphones in my ears and I can hear you still.

Ew. Now he's biting his nails. Fleetwood Mac just came on, apparently he likes this one too. Oh, there goes a finger in the nose. I have to go home.

Superhero Photo Series

Photographer Dulce Pincon has put together a series of photographs of immigrant workers dressed up as superheroes while doing their jobs. He lists where they are originally from and how much money they send home. It's either a really interesting view of pop-culture-meets-harsh-reality or as sad and strange as seeing a grown man dressed up as a hot dog to hand out coupons on the street for the hot dog shop.

See the whole series here.

Maybe if we just split the country into TWO countries...

Is it too late to have a do-over on the civil war? It's not just the North vs. the South these days, though. It's people like this guy vs. people like me. It's Religious America vs. Non-Religious America. It's Educated America vs. Non-Educated America. It's Puritanical Control Freak Zealots vs. people who are trying to live a life, maybe not a perfect one, but a life nonetheless. Evolution vs. Creationism.

I don't like to discuss politics here, but I found the following article terrifying solely on the fact that someone this "conservative" not only exists, but has enough political backing to run for president. But I take solace in the fact that, well... he's not gonna come close to winning.

He's not, right?

Kansas Senator Announces Bid for Presidency
By RACHEL L. SWARNS

WASHINGTON, Jan. 20 — Declaring himself a proud conservative before a crowd of cheering supporters waving American flags, Senator Sam Brownback, Republican of Kansas, on Saturday announced his candidacy for president.

Mr. Brownback, an evangelical Protestant turned Roman Catholic and a former Kansas agriculture secretary, said he would focus on reviving faith and families in America; combating abortion, poverty and wasteful government spending; opposing same-sex marriage; and revamping Social Security and the federal tax system.

“The last thing we need in America is to take God out of our public lives and institutions,” Mr. Brownback said during his speech in Topeka, Kan. “We need to embrace our nation’s motto, ‘In God we trust,’ and not be ashamed of it.

“To walk away from the Almighty is to embrace decline for a nation,” he said. “To embrace him leads to renewal, for individuals and for nations.”

Mr. Brownback acknowledged that he would be one of the lesser-known candidates in what is expected to be a crowded field of Republican presidential hopefuls, including Senator John McCain of Arizona and Rudolph W. Giuliani, the former mayor of New York.

With his opposition to abortion, embryonic stem-cell research and same-sex marriage, Mr. Brownback hopes to establish himself as the dominant conservative in the race. The American Conservative Union, which hails him as one of “the best of the best” in the Senate, gave him a 100 percent conservative rating in its most recent survey of Congress.

(the full article appears here in the New York Times)

One Hundred Percent Conservative. Think he has any meth-buying or gay-prostitute-soliciting in his past like another proud conservative we know?

Just One More Reason the Japanese are Better Than Everyone

This is amazing, and perhaps inspired by this guy.

If you've never seen this before and have some time to kill (love you, YouTube!), search on YouTube for "David Elsewhere". The man is made of pure jello.

New Ground

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had been working on a podcast for nytheatre.com, the website I've been writing reviews for since I think sometime around 2001 or so.

The podcast is finished and you can listen to it here.

I think my voice sounds a little too formal and it's clear that I was reading straight from the page, but I'm cutting myself a little slack since it was my first try. Let me know what you think!

This Crazy City

Yesterday I saw a dog that was wearing nicer shoes than me.

Yes. A dog. Me in sneakers, the dog in leather boots. Dog. Leather Boots.

Seriously, are you kidding me?

And it wasn't even one of those small yappy dogs. I can almost understand when you're dropping like $400/pound on a yappy, then you're gonna want to protect the precious pads.

But no.

This was a big dog, a dog that looks like he could kick some serious ass at the dog run. If, that is, he is allowed to get his shoes dirty. The boots made this respectable dog look like a sissy. And the niceness of his shoes made me feel like a class-A slouch.

I bet the dog has a nicer apartment than me, too. And clearly he has a steady job that covers his costs, but then again how much can it really cost to keep a pooch in kibble and... well, I bet those boots might set you back a bit...

A dog. In boots. Christ.

One More Vote for 100% Cotton

Wow. Just came across this crazy story. No more polyester pants for this lady. And the cell phone stays in my purse!

Kind of makes me pine for a landline...

2007, Two Weeks In

Hey, so sorry I have been on an unexpected hiatus from this sweet little blog. I've actually been really busy getting things rolling, and it's been largely focused on the internet.

As I mentioned before, my friend Ed and I have started work on this new theater company, Cardium Mechanicum. I hosted a reading of four of Ed's plays last week at my apartment. Yep, that's right, we squeezed 15 people in this joint, fed 'em up on soup, boozed 'em up on wine, and had a pretty good time hearing Ed's great work aloud. We're not quite sure of the next step, but we're moving forward... in some direction or another...

We've also been working on ways to get work out that isn't necessarily theater. You can see a little bit of what's begun if you go to the cardium site and click on the crush project. Again, w're not quite sure what shape that's going to take just yet, but with Will's help, I'm slowly learning some basic web design and collaborating with a bunch of actors on the recordings that will soon be posted.

What else? Well, last weekend, I went out to Long Island City and sat in on a rehearsal of Force, a trilogy of plays written and directed by a friend of mine from college. I was covering her show for a podcast that I recorded and edited (largely all by myself-- I'm turning into a little bit of a tech geek!) for nytheatre.com, the website for which I write reviews. The podcast should be up on the site by the end of the week. It's only 15 minutes or so long, but if it didn't take me all GD day to edit it! It's the first one I've really done, so my guess is that it will get easier somewhere on down the line... I hope!

I've also started a new acting class, which I haven't done in a while, I've reviewed a couple of plays, I've been sent out on a few auditions and have booked a couple of voiceover gigs.

We're only a couple of weeks into the year and I think I need a vacation!

Too Late for Xmas, But on Time for New Years!

The time leading up to xmas was such a whirlwind of, well, whirlwindy things that I completely forgot to wish so many people a happy holiday.

I hope you had a merry fesst, be it for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwaanza (does anyone reading this celebrate Kwaanza? If so, I want an invite for next year!), solstice-related celebrations, etc.

And Happy Happy New Year. I'm a little early for that, so we'll just call it all even.

Last week was a strange week...

Oh, New York. You are a strange and beautiful place. Last week, though, the strange totally kicked the ass of the beautiful. Instead of trying to explain with words just how odd this week has been, I'll show you a few photos that might make my point.

First, in a coffeeshop in Grand Central, Will and I saw this sign for book donations that were to go to Ethiopia. The sign says Donate your used books to support literacy and education in Ethiopia. Nice, right? Send your old books to Africa so the kids can learn to read.

The strange part, though, was the actual donation, Reggie Nadelson's Sex Dolls, (an Artie Cohen Thriller). I vaguely remember learning to read from something in the Dr. Seuss library.

Then, the coffeeshop tip jar. I will never understand this. It sort of bugs me. I lived on tips lo, those many years as a bartender/waiter, so I understand relying on the kindness of strangers. But the 'tip the guy who puts coffee in a cup for you' thing just seems strange. Anyone have any thoughts on this one?

On Thursday, I met my friend Nicole from college over in Williamsburg for a drink and a chat. I took the J from Delancey, a train I don't frequent. I thought this six-year-old reading the paper was about the cutest thing I'd seen in a while. The lady sitting two down from him did not think my taking of pictures was cute at all.

But by far, the strangest thing that hit Will and I last week had to do with New York City yellow cabs.

On Saturday night, we went with Will's family and a whole host of others to see Company on Broadway, and more specifically to see family friend Angel Desai in the show. After the show, we were headed downtown to a club party hosted by my friend, photographer Ian Cuttler.

We were trying to catch a cab in Times Square. When we realized that would be nearly impossible, we walked over to Eighth Avenue. Long story short, this girl tried to jump into our cab. She said she was there first, even though I was already in the cab. She said we would take the cab together, me and Will and her and her two friends. Um, no! I told her no, that we were going downtown. Conveniently, so was she! It took me a second, because this did sound like a good solution to our, em, her problem, but then... NO! Finally, Will had had enough and had to physically remove her from the doorway. She was small, but scrappy, so it's a good thing we've been working out!

Then on Sunday, again we had cab troubles. We were en route to Will's Aunt and Uncle's holiday party in Soho. We stopped in this little Italian wine shop on the Lower East Side for two last little gifts, then headed out to find a cab. We were on Orchard and Stanton when a yellow cab rolled up, his medallion lights shining and ready for business.

The driver rolled down the passenger-side window and asked where we were going. Any New Yorker knows that this is not a good sign, especially if you're trying to go to the outer boroughs or an airport. But luckily, we were only going to Broome Street, a quick and easy fare for him.

Well, weren't we shocked and appalled when he wouldn't take us! He grumbled a haughty "no", turned left on Stanton and turned on his "off-duty" lights.

Now, I understand that 4pm is nearing the end of their shift (as far as I know, cabbies drive from 5 to 5, pm to am or am to pm), but 4pm is not 5pm and Orchard is less than ten minutes from Broome, even with traffic! We commisserated with two neighborhood ladies, who exclaimed "nuh-unh! No he din'nt!", then we walked our present-laden, late selves on over to Soho.

Happy Holidays, Mr. Taxi. Happy Holidays, crazy cab-stealing girl. Happy Holidays, coffeeshop kids around the city! Happy Holidays, paper-reading boy. And Happy Holidays, Ethiopia!

Will Aspires

Will has really gone above and beyond the call of duty since we've been back.

Last week he accompanied me to not one, but TWO industry functions. For those of you unfamiliar, by "industry function", I mean a bunch of actors and/or other people "in the business" getting together en masse for social and/or networking purposes.

First, we went to my agency's Christmas party. That was great. I hadn't seen any of my agents since I'd been back, and Will finally got to put faces to names. It's also fun to meet the other half of people I see at auditions. For example, I had no idea that my colleague J.J.'s husband was a novelist. He and Will chatted for a while. There was an open bar and lots of snacks. All in all, not a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

Then, later that week, he came along for a ride to an official networking party. The best way to explain it is for you to read his response, posted on his blog, and my response to his response.

It was a fun night, ultimately, and I got to see a couple of people that I don't often get to see, as well as chat with my friend/soon-to-be-partner-in-theatrical-crime, the fantastic playwright Ed Valentine. I'm not sure I mentioned it, but we're starting up a new theater company, Cardium Mechanicum. Ed is finishing up his MFA in Playwrighting at NYU this coming semester, so we probably won't produce much until at least the summer, but something is a-brewin' and I have a feeling it is going to be great!

The Holiday Season Has Begun

I know that Xmas decorations have been in store windows since Halloween, but I still think that the official start of the holiday season is your first holiday party.


Our holiday season started last night, at Will's friend Gerry's loft (that's us with my friend Rita in the middle). And this morning, we realized that we are out of shape for holiday season!


It's not that it was such, a crazy party, it's more that it's been a while since we're rolled in at 4am. Ok, so maybe I could have skipped that last glass of wine, but more importantly, I should have forseen trouble when we didn't arrive at the party until 11pm.

But it all turned out ok and we ended up having a very New York sort of day. We headed out to brunch, and when the place where we wanted to eat had what looked like at least a 30 minute wait, we went to a less crowded place down the street. (We realized that it was near empty for a reason as we proceeded to have one of the most lame and mediocre brunches of my life!)

We planned on seeing the new James Bond film at 3, but it was only 130, so we took a little stroll through the Strawberry Fields part of Central Park. On our way into the park, we encountered Conan O'Brien, who looked like he, too, had a late night holiday season kick-off. But he had it worse than us as his daughter who he was pushing in a stroller looked like she had a good night's rest and boundless energy. Poor Conan. Poor hungover Conan. I love New York.

So we walked around and killed that hour, then headed over to Lincoln Plaza for our movie. After waiting what seemed like half my life in a line for some M&Ms, we finally got into the packed theater and found the last two decent seats-- everyone who came in after us was front row bound.

I don't have a very good track record for staying awake during movies. Whether in the theater or at home, it's rare that I don't have at least a little snooze. These chairs were some of the more comfortable movie seats I've ever encountered, so I was convinced I'd be out shortly after previews.

What I didn't count on, however, was that Casino Royale was really really good. Like adrenaline rush, heart-pounding-in-your-throat good.

I was wide awake through the whole thing. And now I'm completely exhausted. And holiday party season has only just begun. I'd better go rest up!